Apparently, nearly anyone can qualify for the presidential election ballot simply by filling out a form and meeting a few basic requirements – at least in Arizona. Many of these candidates are sponsored by Project White House, started by Tucson Weekly.
From the site: “Project White House is a bold new experiment in Reality Journalism brought to you by the Tucson Weekly. At least 14 of the Democrats on Arizona’s Feb. 5 presidential primary ballot, as well as 10 of the GOP candidates, are participating in Project White House. These courageous men and women are putting forward their vision to lead our great nation. The candidates will compete in a variety of campaign challenges, with the ultimate winner in both parties capturing the coveted Tucson Weekly endorsement.”
Some of these guys are well known, so I provided a one-liner.
Here goes, in the order in which they are listed, due to a random drawing:
- Stats: Widowed, 4 kids, Lindenhurst, Illinois, Episcopalian, goes by “Mitch”, Northeastern Illinois University
- Experience: Chicago-area city employee, municipal gigs (Water Plant Operator, Facilities Manager) and boards (school board, forest preserve board, drainage district, and the Highland Park Mosquito Abatement District), Youth soccer and hockey coach, Boy Scout leader, Navy Officer during Vietnam
- Recommendation: Pass. Good for him for running. Seems like a good citizen in his hometown, which is better than some of these guys. Here’s his blurb from Project White House: “I decided to run for President in 2008 because I believe my generation of WWII babies needs to provide a better legacy for our children and the future for our grand children.”
- Official Site: www.mitchell4president08.com
- Stats: Wife Cheryl, 2 kids, Long Beach, California, Catholic, New American Independent Party, MBA from USC, BA Accounting Cal-State Long Beach
- Experience: President/Chief Financial Officer, Meghan Matthews Incorporated, Chief Operations Officer, Tri Five Property Management Incorporated
- Recommendation: Pass. “Look, guys – first guy in my class to run for president!” Actually has some interesting ideas as an independent, but I would like to see him go a more traditional route – local, then regional, then national – he has zero political experience whatsoever. Has a widely spidered website – he keeps appearing in searches for other candidates. Here’s his blurb from Project White House: “My name is Frank McEnulty and I am running as an independent candidate for President of the United States in 2008. Crazy right? Well maybe, but I am just way too fed up with how the two major parties are running (or should I say ruining) politics in this country and I feel the need to try and do something about it.”
- Official Site: www.frankforpresident.org
As Paul Lukas has pointed out, a “mitt” is short for mitten, and is thus only referring to the catcher’s or first-basemen’s fielding gloves. Not this. Also, who knew his first name was Willard? Best Presidential Candidate hair since JFK.
Legendary lines in The Hunt for Red October
and Days of Thunder
– the “Japanese Inspection” scene gave me chills. At least he was a Senator for 1-1/2 terms.
- Stats: Wife Deborah, Birmingham, Alabama, Born Again Christian, Dr. of Psychiatry, UAB,
- Experience: Ran and lost for an Alabama House seat in 2006.
- Recommendation: Umm, no, thanks. From Wikipedia: “He stands out for several controversial views including the belief that Sadaam Hussein was responsible for the September 11th attacks, and that Osama bin Laden has an “American Hiroshima plan” to blow up 10 American cities with suitcase-sized nuclear bombs.”
- Official Site: www.hughcort2008.com
My favorite candidate.
Well, his www.michaelpshaw.com website is listed as “available” by GoDaddy. This guy is apparently also a local Arizona candidate from Glendale, AZ. Only grainy MySpace video coverage (opening with the unforgettable lyric “Start Recording!”) seems to be available. From the December 19th, Arizona Daily Star: Shaw says he’s “running to represent the hood and the God of Israel.” I wish I were making this up. This is turning into one of those early American Idol shows, where everyone wants their three minutes. Umm, pass.
UPDATE: Read this article – some excerpts:
The best political speech I’ve heard in some time was delivered by Republican presidential candidate Michael P. Shaw, who wore sunglasses and a T-shirt that read “Geek Squad” to a public event at the State Capitol.
- “I have a question: How much experience do you think the Congress and President Bush have? They have a lot of experience and they’ve ran the country into the ground.
- “Why am I here? I’m here to represent the ’hood, because nobody else is representing the ’hood. And Bush and everyone else who’s got all the experience – all the experience – have run the country into the ground! It’s like the Valdez oil spill. And that’s what the country’s turning into.
- “That’s why I’m here, sir, because I can do a better job than what’s being done right now, sir! So that question you had asked, sir, was to me, sir! And I’m here because I am a registered voter, sir. I voted for Bush two times in the past eight years. I’ve been a Republican for 10 years, 17 years in Homeland Security, 10 years as a truck driver. Street credibility is insurmountable, sir!”
- At that point, Shaw pushed his chair away from a table in the crowded conference room, striking the knees of a man sitting behind him. “Hey man, you just lost my vote!” the other man said. “I didn’t know I had votes,” Shaw responded. “I didn’t come here for votes. I came here represent the hood.” He apologized to the other man and left the room.
Street credibility is insurmountable, sir!
Here’s another PWH guy. Apparently he’s a retired Army military intelligence officer and aerospace engineer living in Tucson. At least he’s got a blog. Pass. Here’s his Project White House blurb: “[Skelley] offers “real solutions (that can get real results) by confronting problems which are really serious.” His “new square deal” has a dozen basic points to reduce the federal debt, clean up campaign fundraising, save Social Security, provide affordable health care, reverse the trade deficit, simplify income taxes and solve the energy crisis.”
As the signs say, just “Google Ron Paul“. Recommended by David Letterman as far back as 1988. Middle name of “Ernest”, Duke MD, was a obstetrician/gynecologist for 30 years, and was also in the Air Force. US Rep for Texas for 12 years.
I like this guy. He attended both Portland CC and Portland State, and ran for President in 2000 and the Senate in 1998, finishing second. Another GoDaddy free starter webpage user, he advocates US “statehood for neighboring and impoverished countries to franchise the world into our successful form of economic development.” He also refused to demean his campaign by throwing in with the Project White House folks.
Graduating with a 2.5 GPA from Jefferson High School in Portland, Oregon, here’s “Bob, Bobby, Robert!” Forthan. Was an Oregon state employee for 31 years and in the National Guard for six, Forthan ran for Governor of Oregon and also Mayor of Portland. Decent WordPress site (in comparison to say, Jack Shepard (below). Here’s a nugget from the Project White House site: “I’m under educated, but I read well, I’m poor only because it’s a state of mine [sic], meaning I’m rich depending on who I’m talking to, but I have high hopes.”
He doesn’t believe in Evolution. I don’t believe he should be taken seriously. Governor of Arkansas for 11 years (basically post-Clinton).
Another PWH guy from Tucson. This is getting old, fast. Here’s his blurb: ““If honesty is the best policy, then we should replace the present-day politicians, because they are living in a fantasy world and can not recognize the truth from a lie.” Word. Or something.
Host of “IN Your Head Radio” afternoon radio show in Pensacola, Florida. Here’s his announcement. Some other blurbs: Outzen has had a multifaceted career as a publisher, blogger, radio and television host, post hole digger and city councilman of Gulf Breeze is angling for a conservative base that has yet to coalesce around a favorite. Killer quote: “People think Fred Thompson is lazy and talks slow. I will show the voters what lazy and slow really are. People think Ron Paul is crazy and unbalanced. Well, I invented crazy and unbalanced.” Attaboy, Rick.
All I can find on this guy is that he lives in Vail, Arizona (southeast of Tucson), and filed for the primary on December 17th. He’s not one of the these Project White House yahoos. Just a guy with a handy Notary Public.
Another PWH knob. The “CF” stands for “Cosmic Farsightedness” – no, really. This ass-hat sports an eye patch. Unless it’s real, of course – that would suck. But if it’s fake, the ass-hatted-ness stands. Maybe he’s a Pastafarian in disguise. He’s at least merchandising on CafePress.
Our local candidate. As Howard Stern said in 2000, anyone who was a prisoner in a cage poked with sticks has his vote. War hero, Air Force, Vietnam, military family. Silver Star, Bronze Star, Legion of Merit, Purple Heart and Distinguished Flying Cross. 21 years as Senator, 4 as a Representative. Middle name: Sidney.
- Stats: Wife Lynne and two sons. Alpine, California, Western State University. Attorney. Vietnam vet (with a Bronze Star for service in 24 helicopter combat assaults).
- Experience: US Representative for California for 28 years. He’s head of the Armed Services committee
- Recommendation: An actual real candidate – bona fide. Plus he has two labs and drives a Chevy Suburban with 274,000 miles on it. There’s just no “buzz” on him. I would have expected someone in the House for the past three decades to have a recognizable name outside the Beltway.
- Official Site: www.gohunter08.com
From Tucson, another PWH candidate, this time with a PHD. He advocates “a strong economy, which is dependent on access to necessary resources and markets abroad. This means continuing, for the present, to be a colonial power and an international police force with our own best interest at heart.” Don’t pull any punches, there Dave.
Another of the PWH Posse – though at least he seems to have some credentials. Divorced Texan from San Antonio, career accountant, UT-Austin, was an auditor for the Texas Department of Human Services, did a stint in the Navy, and for the past 24 years has been Security Officer (huh?). Ran for Texas Governor in 2006 and for a House seat in 2004. Or at least he ran before this PWH nonsense.
- Stats: Married, 3 kids, Baltimore, Illinois. Smart guy – Harvard undergrad and Doctorate.
- Experience: Has run for President in 1996 and 2000, and for Illinois Senate in 2004 (lost to Obama). Also ran for Senate for Maryland in 1988 and 1992 – that’s a 5-time loser, no matter how smart you are. Did some State Department work, including Ambassador, U.N. Economic & Social Council, but nothing recent. Now is a radio guy, author, and former columnist.
- Recommendation: Pass. I guess he’s a smart guy and a good guy to have in your corner. He was the Featured Speaker, Republican National Convention in 1992
- Official Site: www.alankeyes.com – good thing that URL is not election-year dependent, so he can run again in 2012
- Stats: Was originally a welder. Is of African, Irish, Native American, French, and Scottish descent. Enlisted in Army for Korea, decorated combat veteran, Army Aviator, Paratrooper and Ranger. In 34 years rose from Private to Major General. Also recorded an opera album: Generally Singing
- Experience: Candidate for Congress in Virginia in 1988, Three-time Presidential appointee: former Administrator of the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration in GHW Bush’s administration, Military Deputy Assistant Secretary of Defense in the Carter Administration, and Press Secretary to the Secretary of Defense in the Reagan Administration
- Recommendation: Wow – great story. Most of this is clipped from his bio: Via night school, got a Bachelor’s from Nebraska-Omaha, an M.A. in International Relations from Boston University, and a Doctorate from Luther Rice University. has served on the Board of Directors of the Greater Washington DC Board of Trade, the USO, the American Red Cross, was a Trustee of the Federal City Council, and an ex-officio member of the National Research Counsel’s Executive Committee, Transportation Research Board. In 1982 he was named Washingtonian of the Year. Why haven’t we heard more from this guy, or is he another Wesley Clark? Fortunately for us, and unfortunately for Jerry, there are probably several handfuls of great Americans like this that will remain on the periphery of the mainstream.
- Official Site: www.curryforamerica.com
- Stats: Wife, 2 kids, Asheville, North Carolina. Civil Engineering degree from Virginia Tech.
- Experience: City Supervisor, Winston-Salem, North Carolina for 25 years. CEO of two tech firms for the past 20 years. 2 years as Army officer in Vietnam.
- Recommendation: A little flimsy – long streaks at positions – good for a job candidate, but not this job.
- Official Site: www.wethepeopleforpresident.com
- Stats: Divorced, 2 kids. U of Minnesota undergrad, U of Minnesota Dentistry. Lives in St. Paul.
- Experience: Air Force Captain and private practice dentist for 38 years.
- Recommendation: Pass. May be a flip-flopper, as he participated in both Republicans Abroad 2000-present, and Democrats Abroad in 2000. Or maybe he just wanted the trip to Paris. Ran for 2 Minnesota US Senate seats in 2002 and 2004, and ran for a House seat in 2006. He has six dogs, two fish, and a rabbit. Would make Rev. Jesse Jackson his U.N. Ambassador.
- Official Site: www.jackshepardforpresident.com – this guy could be the best candidate (he’s not), but his website will cost him the election – quite possibly the worst thing out there – ever. It challenges the worst MySpace pages.
Famous NYC Mayor, walk-on cameo on episode of Seinfeld. Oversaw the New York Yankees losing to the Arizona Diamondbacks in the 2001 World Series. Yankees haven’t won a title since. NYU Law, the prosecutor that “got Gotti”.
And that’s the ballgame. 24 candidates, 12 seemingly legit, 6 mainstream candidates, and of course, Michael P. Shaw, representing the ‘hood.
“Street credibility is insurmountable, sir!”
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